Buildings

The importance a place holds
The memories a basement brings
The late night talks you hear
The laughs that ring
The arguments, the fights
Bitching about each other, finding ways to kill them
Borrowing each other’s things and
PMSing together
Drunk on vodka, puking cheese nachos
Laughing as we watch the dark night with twinkling stars
Planning endless trips with just one successful one
Calling dibs on each other’s children, when most hate them
Pregnancy scares and 1st smoke
The time we spent, the time we will spend
All seem like a dream,
A dream too good to come true.

?

It’s cold and windy
With the wind blocking my nose
I wonder where I am
I wonder where I will be
Now at the this moment
All I want is me

My past actions keep haunt
My reactions come taunt
I wonder how I am
I wonder how I will be
Now at this moment
All I want is me

The present calling me
My thought evolving
I wonder who I am
I wonder who I will be
Now at this moment
All I want is me

Fingers

Small baby holding onto your right hand thumb,

the grip,the warmth,

those tiny,3-4 cm long fingers holding onto your single one,

the zing through your body,

the smile spreading on your face,

the emotion,

the sense of care taking over,

the want to protect those tiny fingers.

 

God is Love.

Love the one emotion people yearn the most,                                                                                  the basic emotion from which others grow.                                                                                    Look around,                                                                                                                                            what do you see?                                                                                                                                    There are people, there are emotions,                                                                                              but barely any zeal                                                                                                                                Where have we come?

They say love is God’s gift,                                                                                                                 but is God love?                                                                                                                                      Do you feel the wind blow through your hair?                                                                           See the flowers all bright?                                                                                                                    Do you see the fruits ripe with sweetness?                                                                                      And the waters wave by?                                                                                                                      Aren’t they all God’s gift?                                                                                                                      his creation for us.                                                                                                                                  His love,                                                                                                                                                    to make our world beautiful.                                                                                                              God is love.

They say,                                                                                                                                                  seek and you shall receive.                                                                                                                  Seek in God,                                                                                                                                              through him all receive.                                                                                                                        Then why not love?                                                                                                                                It is received by all,                                                                                                                                through him we all love                                                                                                                        God is love.

 

Just a little backstory I wrote this poem a year back for a competition and I have no idea how I won that round with this poem, but it’s still close to me because it was the 1st time I wrote for a competition. So I have changed a few words I was not happy with but stuck to the original poem.

Anyway, I hope you like the poem.

Night.

 

 

 

Promises are meant to be broken.

Hi! To anyone who stumbles upon this page.

I’ve started typing again and don’t know how long I’ll stick to a routine, in real I just felt like typing after reading my boyfriend’s blog.

I read my previous writings and actually expected them to be horrible but they aren’t,except few which I don’t understand What was I thinking?

I had actually tried maintaing a diary but failed  at that too.

I sometimes feel lost like I don’t know my purpose, isn’t everyone supposed to have one.Why is there a need to earn money? Why is there this system of buying stuff and creating happiness?Why couldn’t people just live without this differentiation or insecurities created by money?

I don’t know what I’m afraid of.Am I afraid of failing to live or failing to give my mother the joy of money?

But not everything is gloomy and depressing and I’m not even calling myself depressed, I have the people that matter the most to me around me so I have no reason to detest life.It’s just it can feel a little overwhelming at times.

I’ll end here my eyes have serious issues with me sitting in front of the computer.

Night.

 

YEAR-END….

HI,

AM BACK AFTER A VERY,VERY LONG BREAK .

I WAS SITTING ON MY BED, LISTENING TO MUSIC AND EATING MY DINNER,WHEN I REALIZED IT’S THE END OF NOVEMBER AND TOMORROW WOULD BE THE 1ST DAY OF THE LAST MONTH.

I WAS GOING THROUGH MY FLASHBACKS,CHERISHING ALL THE MOMENTS OF MY LIFE.I SOMEHOW ALWAYS ENJOY THE YEAR END, ITS FUN TO VISUALIZE IT AS A LADDER ALWAYS IN A HURRY TO REACH THE TOP WHEN YOU KNOW YOU WILL HAVE TO START OVER AGAIN.

WHEN YOU SIT BACK AND GO THROUGH ALL YOUR HARDWORK,INCIDENTS,CONTROVERSIES,LAUGHS,TEASES,FUN, FIGHTS,

FUTURE

The Nature’s Will….

Me going to 10th was not by choice but by cycle of life..Today morning I felt this weird feeling about me in 10th.I like to sit near on the window seat(school bus)and think about my day ahead and how I’m going to face..so today morning I was thing about my struggling life as a student.when I saw my daily man doing his daily poop,seriously he never misses his spot,whenever we pass by that road I find him in the exact same place doing the exact same thing..anyways so I was thinking when I saw him and my thought process changed.I now was thinking about how I felt to be in 10th.so I don’t exactly have ‘friends’ to talk about my personal feeling and thus it gets really difficult for me to which by which I mean I end just smiling at them agreeing or laughing at things later realize aren’t funny.

Coming back to what I started typing..entering 10th was like a huge step in my life with voices asking whats my future course..and I’m like dude I just started getting  serious with my studies and you asking what I  want to do in future,like really.The worst part of the scenario is when some of my classmates have decided what they want ahead,me being completely unknown to the school life ahead,wonder “How the hell do they know the boards ahead and the courses they provide.We mates never talked about this untill we came to 10,then how the hell do they even know these words,and all I feel is am I still on earth”

Then its the school that won’t let me feel normal,they keep organizing these career  choosing seminars from which we or at least I get nothing but frustration out and the best part about this irritating thing is it never subsides.It keeps popping up in offbeat places,you like 1 second I would be singing Whistle(Flo Rida) and the next about my future questions and mind it all happens when excreting me shit,the reason for it being frustrating is  because now I can’t even shit peacefully,it’s like pain in the ass it just doesn’t go.

It’s raining right now accompanied by mute lightening(that’s not possible) anyways I just heard the thundering it’s a bit shy it seems,its not that powerful,maybe even he’s tired coming all the way here.I just wish I could get wet someday and its not like I can’t it’s just that I won’t be allowed,so I’ve planned this secret sneak out,out in the woods or more appropriate out among the buildings if it continues to rain the way it is now.

I heard my friend again(thunder)it’s gained on it’s voice and I might soon on my ‘life’.Got to go bye ,my eyes are getting angry for not going for to sleep…NIGHT DREAMY HEADS…will continue later

ME

Happiness..is something I used to search for every time.I always thought its going to knock at my door when the times right,but recently I learnt that it is always around you.I felt that I needed a friend to enjoy with ,but my ma told me that I don’t need someone, you can live your life alone and be happy at the same time.Being alone gives you a lot of time to think and to sleep….you know I’ve seen so many movies depicting friendship that even I started to dream of having a chadee-badee,someone who hears me out,who knows what I feel ,someone in front of whom I needn’t pretend to be someone else..and guess what I had that someone all this while my ma.She’s just like me, but an older version and I guess I know what I am going to when I grow up.

Music,water and books are the only people that can console me after my ma,and best part I completely loose control of who I am ,its like I enter a different world,where I don’t want anybody.

I’ve have this bucket list,like to witness a death .to walk alone in the middle of a deserted street at midnight,to travel all parts of India,to break atleast one arm.hoping to have more of these.

I prefer talking to stranger than my own,which is very bad,coz every time they are around you you have to talk to them and they expect so..and I feel they get bored with me around. I have this fantasy of having an unknown conversation with someone online and hope it happens soon.I always want to meet new people,I don’t like to meet the people I already know,which is very frustrating.

I noticed I started with Happiness,so to end I feel it is everywhere.Fir me its when I see our childhood videos,when I see a father playing with his child,when I eat,when I cook,when I swim,when I talk,when I sleep,when I sing ,when I play,when I paint and many more.

I’ve stopped looking for friends and have started to dig  within me….

FRIENDS …THE BACKSTABBING SNAKE

They say you are alone when you enter the world and also when you leave the world..Still we are compelled to make friends in this world..

Sometimes it just feels like you are there and yet not there with them.You try make out from the real and the fake,until you realize that they are gone..They say they know you and find out ways to hurt you.You can’t let out your feeling,knowing they might use it against you.There are gossips within the group about you when you are not there.There is not one person whom you can trust,which leaves you with your mother,more of a friend now understanding what you mean.You feel secure and let out your feelings,it’s not in your heart anymore and yet again there are people who find it kiddish.Who make fun of,knowing they are ones in loss.They are jealous, knowing that they can’t share a special bond like my mother and me.And again you are left out ,as there is no one who trusts YOU any more……

They want to know your secret crush even if you don’t have one, they keep teasing,till u realize it’s not worth anymore…They get on your nerve,with you left screeming inside,crying to come out,trying to tell them the real you,telling them they are not the real rulers, that you can take a stand and show the world the real you…

You feel like crying, tearing yourself apart and run away, swim in the water and get lost in your own feelings,knowing there won’t be anyone after you this time…

You feel you don’t need this world by your side,that you can handle yourself and yet are compelled FRIENDS in this world

TICK-TOCK…..THE CLOCK ON THE WALL GOES ON…….

Hi! There,again..

My day is just coming to an end, and now when am sitting down and typing,I look back and realize I didn’t really do much today (in a sense I meant: I really didn’t study,having my exams on).

Its like I have heard my mom say that GOD has a purpose behind the 24 hour thing.He might have got something going on in his mind. Mom says that if hes given us 24 hours then it means we have the capacity to complete our work.But now when I think of it I feel “Hey!GOD,24 HOURS isn’t really enough right now.” 

But I’ve learnt one more thing(this one from school)that when you look at yourself in the mirror,before going to bed you shouldn’t regret your day;you should spend it in such a way that when you go to sleep its one of those peaceful ones…. 

I have learnt one thing in my life till now, that discipline is a necessity,you need to have a basic layout of your day(if you aiming high).You need to have time management in your blood nowadays.

You know I sometimes feel that the whole world is like a train, a very fast though;moving ahead, with me running on the platform and that to wearing an heavy dress.And if you’v seen any Bollywoods, then you’d know,how they have a boy on the train stretching out his hand to pull the girl;just that in my case i don’t have and guess won’t have one ever….

Well, thats to much thinking from my brain…and there after adieu……….