Happiness..is something I used to search for every time.I always thought its going to knock at my door when the times right,but recently I learnt that it is always around you.I felt that I needed a friend to enjoy with ,but my ma told me that I don’t need someone, you can live your life alone and be happy at the same time.Being alone gives you a lot of time to think and to sleep….you know I’ve seen so many movies depicting friendship that even I started to dream of having a chadee-badee,someone who hears me out,who knows what I feel ,someone in front of whom I needn’t pretend to be someone else..and guess what I had that someone all this while my ma.She’s just like me, but an older version and I guess I know what I am going to when I grow up.
Music,water and books are the only people that can console me after my ma,and best part I completely loose control of who I am ,its like I enter a different world,where I don’t want anybody.
I’ve have this bucket list,like to witness a death .to walk alone in the middle of a deserted street at midnight,to travel all parts of India,to break atleast one arm.hoping to have more of these.
I prefer talking to stranger than my own,which is very bad,coz every time they are around you you have to talk to them and they expect so..and I feel they get bored with me around. I have this fantasy of having an unknown conversation with someone online and hope it happens soon.I always want to meet new people,I don’t like to meet the people I already know,which is very frustrating.
I noticed I started with Happiness,so to end I feel it is everywhere.Fir me its when I see our childhood videos,when I see a father playing with his child,when I eat,when I cook,when I swim,when I talk,when I sleep,when I sing ,when I play,when I paint and many more.
I’ve stopped looking for friends and have started to dig within me….
sanayawrites 